So, If I were to go back and start a list of everything I had ever done wrong, well it would probably go back to preschool and hitting a female classmate over the head with a phone because she refused to share it. Not long after pre-school though at the age of 7 I found Christ, He changed my life as a very young child and began shaping me into something more promising than your typical kid in the neighborhood. Well I started rebelling, one of my first accounts of foolish rebellion, maybe the slipping of the gears would have been when I was eleven. A few of us met at the bus stop and discussed just skipping school for the day, we would never be missed it was no big deal. Well, you know that old saying ‘that idol hands are the devils handy-work’ maybe there is some profound truth in it. After about two hours of rummaging through my parents house, myself and two co-skippers became bored. We had this fantasy of building a racing go-cart, with absolutely no funds, no endorsements and no authorization. As we wondered the neighborhood, we came across a cache of things belonging to one of the ‘prepperes of the time ( a late blooming hippy perhaps). Anyway, he had this nearly new 5 horsepower horizontal shaft engine that would be the perfect base for a go-cart of our caliber. So we, stole it, carried it up the hill, stole some gas from my dads shed, a few tools and after a few pulls of the rope had a roaring engine, just waiting for a project car. Which of course would never come.
The day carried on, the engine would have to wait until later, but we still had 1/2 gallon of gasoline. So we did what any kid (I really hope not any kid) would do and started playing with the gas, watching it burn, adding more fuel, and before you knew it had a roaring blaze, that half torched a pine tree. Wait, let me back up to the setting here, we were living in the Sandia Mountain range to the East of Albuquerque, a forest covering thousands of acres of pines and spruce tree that I’m sure were all trembling in fear at these three stupid boys. Lucky for us, we contained the fire, called it a day and went about our business.
We didn’t make it more than two hours after our parents got home and the phones started ringing, intuition kicked in and all three of us were receiving various forms of Proverbs, making sure to not spare the rod on either of us. I was raised in a home that tried instilling values in me, regardless of my actions. I had to ring the doorbell of the man we stole the engine from, return it and do some hard labor (cleaning up his yard, stacking firewood, etc) and I’m sure as the events of the day came out a few more of the Rod not being spared to save my soul.
This is an early memory of me just living for me, avoiding the God I knew. This is mild compared to the rest of my life, but perhaps a fair introduction into my sins, my confessions. See somehow they will all lead up to who I’ve become through what I have done. Though, I have been forgiven for my sins, my actions are still remembered by many that I have wronged. Many that I can never make amends with, many who will forever view me as garbage, but hopefully many who will be celebrating heaven with me, when the end of our worlds collide.